Do not turn your back on the leprechaun.

WTF is Irish about shitty apple cake?  That's the worse cake recipe ever. Also, what's an "Irish bouquet"?   I'm just going to keep talking about how dumb that tabletop looks so that I don't have to acknowledge the creature lurking on the right.   It means us ill.   You couldn't pay me enough to look directly into its terrifying foil face.

That's not a fucking decoration, that's a sadistic foil poppet crafted for a malignant purpose.

Hey, what was going on at this time in Ireland?   Conny?  Are you behind "The Troubles"? Conny?

If you have a rabbit mold, good for you.

Conny approves of people who have rabbit molds.   They're her kind of people...CHEATERS.  Covering hard boiled eggs in foil is not a craft, lady.  You're not fooling anyone with the rickrack.

Halloween. Yep, I'm scared.

All other questions aside, why do they all have black eyes?  Is it because Conny's kids always get the shit kicked out of them on Halloween, and she's come to think it's normal?

Foiled.

I present to you the first installment of our anniversary gift from Stacey and Shell-  the scintillatingly titled 401 Party and Holiday Ideas from Alcoa by the one and only Conny Von Hagen, copyright 1971.

Can you guess what Alcoa manufactures?  If you guessed aluminum foil, you're literate!

Conny apparently made a career out of tinfoil hats.  I encourage you to google her, if only for the terrifying picture of the full sized foil mermaid.   This book is not without horrifying gems, however.  I'm scarred by Father's Day.

This has truly been the gift that gives.  Let's have a caption contest!